Jack The Super Farmer
by hmking
Summary: Follows the adventure of Jack the super farmer as he battles the evil geek lord, Rick.
1. Enter Jack The Super Farmer

Our hero, Jack the Super Farmer, awakes at the sound of his alarm clock, Ronie the Rooster. Our hero then makes his way to the cave of chickens, where the Ronie the Rooster lives. He then pulls out his Axe of Farming and turns off his alarm clock. He then goes back into this house, where he pulls out his trusty hammer of happiness, sickle of specialness, and his three hoes: Regular, Blessed, and Mythic. Then the might Super Farmer leaps out of his window, casting out sharp shards of glass everywhere. After standing up on a hill with his hands on his hips and his cape blowing in the wind, Jack the Super Farmer whips out his Hoe of the Mythic sort and with mega super hero action, slams it into the earth and pulls it towards himself. With super hero speed, our hero jolts to the Grocery Store and buys a bag of Potatoes. He then realizes he "then does" stuff way too much.  
"What's the latest news Jeff"  
"The evil Geek-Lord Rick has fooled another attractive female specimen into thinking he's as cool as you and Kai"  
"That's insane! Who is the fair lady that has fallen into his web of lies"  
"My beloved daughter! He used his Hypnotizing Ultra Geeky Glasses Of Great Seduction (AKA HUGGGS) to trick my daughter"  
"I can not let this go on!" Yells our hero, "That's it! I shall meet up with my trusty"  
"Hammer"  
"No"  
"Axe"  
"No"  
"One of your three"  
"NO! Not my hoes either! Sheesh! I shall meet up with my trusty sidekick, Kai Boy"  
"But it is not yet summer"  
"Hmm... This is true. The great Kai Boy is away this season! What shall I do"  
"May I suggest that you summon the great Mineral Town Council? Surely they can help"  
"No...You may not suggest it! For I shall suggest it and take the idea! I shall summon the great Mineral Town Council"  
As quickly as he came, our hero runs off to Doug's Place to use the phone. 


	2. The Council Is Summoned

"Quick Doug! I need to use your phone"  
"Can't do Super Farmer. I'm using it"  
"Who is it"  
"Some Business Advice Distributor guy"  
"What's he saying"  
"That I should stop selling salad for 300.00"  
"That's a good idea and all, but I must summon the great Mineral Town Council"  
"Why didn't you say so! Here take the phone!" "Thanks" Using super speed (The power, not the drug), our hero types in the numbers of the Council members, "What? You can't! Why not? You're playing Playstation 2? Oh... that's okay. Just as long as it isn't a XBox"  
Five phone calls later.  
"Ann is busy with Cliff, Elli is busy with the Doctor, Mary is a freak and I don't want to be near her, the restraining order for me and Harvest Sprites is still in effect, Stu and May are taking naps, so all I have is Won, Gotz, Duke, Thomas, Saibara, and the Gourmet Judge. I don't think that they are powerful enough to take on the evil and twisted Geek-Lord"  
"Well Won has his door-to-door salesman scaring powers, Gotz has his wood chopping skills, Duke can make anyone drunk within two drinks, Gourmet Judge can devour people with his lips, Saibara can look old, and Thomas...Well Thomas is just plain short. That's kinda helpful"  
"Still not good enough"  
"They have the White Wizard! That has to count for something"  
"What"  
"I mean...They have the Super Farmer! That has to count for something"  
"Riiiiight."

With a burst of confidence and confusion, our hero blasts to Rose Square, where the Council meets.

"Members of the Council! I have called you here to inform you of a great threat. The evil Geek-Lord Rick has been using HUGGGS to trick young girls into thinking he's hot stuff again"  
"What! I can't hear you! My hearing aid fell out and my liver spots are taking over my mind again!" yelled a half deaf, liver spot controlled Saibara.  
"Someone take care of him"  
"I will!" yelled Gotz as he jumped at Saibara with his Axe.  
"With mine and your... well mostly my powers, I think we...More like I can take care of the evil Geek-Lord. Now let's go!" 


	3. The Attack

Inside the evil Geek Layer of the Geek-Lord...

"Hi Karen. I've spent years "running errands for my mom". But I have not really been running errands! I have really been studying you from a far. Getting as close to you as a Geek can without using super powers. Now that I can no longer get you with just my personality, I used HUGGGS! And you are powerless! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"  
"Yes Rick...You are so hot. I want to marry you and have a family with you! Kiss me you fool"  
"Finally! I'm popular! Yes my dear! I shall kiss you"

"NOT SO FAST GEEK-LORD! YOUR HUGGGS DAYS ARE OVER! RETURN THE BLONDE ONE AND YOU WILL GO WITHOUT A BROKEN ARM AND BROKEN GLASSES"  
"Do you really think I'd listen to you"  
"Um...yeah"  
"Why would I"  
"Because I'm more popular than you and you are just a loser geek"  
"So! Fine! Take the girl! But you shall not be living when you take her"  
"What? How can we take her if we're dead"  
"THAT'S THE POINT FOOLS!" Yells Rick as he pulls out his TI-83+ calculator and searches for his SELF DESTRUCT program. "HAHA! Now you will all die"  
"I don't think so nerd"  
"WHOA! I'm a geek! Not a nerd! Nerds are fat kids and people that nobody notices... Geeks on the other hand are skinny, tall kids with a vast amount of knowledge"  
"Whatever!" with that our hero pulls out his hammer and smashes the calculator before Rick can start the program.  
"Curse you Super Farmer! You may have destroyed my dreams of having Karen and destroyed my TI-83, but you have yet to see my full power"  
"This better not be Pokemon related"  
"Oh but it is! I have programmed my palm pilot to turn my Pokemon cards into the real things! HAHA! You shall be destroyed! Thunderbolt Pikachu"  
"Gourmet Judge! Use your lips to absorb Pikachu's lightning attacks"  
Just before the thunderbolt hits the Council, the gigantic lips of the Gourmet Judge absorb the attack.  
"Gotz! Use your axe however you want"  
"HAHA! Say goodnight Pikawhatever"  
SLICE A DICE! SPLAT! CRACK! SHATTER! BOOM! SPRINKLE! SPLAT! KEEEEEEEEEERRRRSPLAT!  
"Ew... Pikachu's arm return! leg, and left ear...RETURN"  
"What else do you got geek boy?  
"I choose you Hypmonachuasaurmander"  
"What? Is that even a pokemon"  
"Its a combination of the strongest of all the Pokemon"  
"Thomas! Go do short people stuff to it! Gotz! Go build me the vacation house! Gourmet Judge! Stop getting lip implants! Duke! Go get drunk or something like that! Won! Go sell stuff! As for me, I will use my axe and three hoes!" Our hero then leaps into the air and slams all three hoes into the ground at once and causes a massive earth quake. The earthquake causes Rick to drop his palm pilot. Our hero then smashes it with his axe, therefore turning the mega Pokemon back into a paper card"  
"I have beat you Geek-Lord. Your reign of geeky evil has ended. Now you shall be forced to live with the Harvest Sprites for 100 seasons! I'd take you there myself, except the restraining order kind of prevents it. Gotz! You take him there."

On the way to the Harvest Sprite's place...

"It appears that your reign of terror has come to an end Rick the nerd"  
"I'm a geek fool! A geek!" with that correction, our villain smacks Gotz in the head with his pocket protector and runs towards our hero's farm...

THE END

Now you would think that there would be a sequel saying just what happened when Rick got to our hero's farm, but there isn't! AHAHAHAHAHHAHA! I'm evil like that. 


End file.
